The symptoms of borderline personality disorder include: a recurring pattern of instability in relationships, efforts to avoid abandonment, identity disturbance, impulsivity, emotional instability, and chronic feelings of emptiness, among other symptoms.
The main feature of borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a significant pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and emotions. People with borderline personality disorder can be very impulsive and may demonstrate self-injurious behaviors (e.g., risky sexual behaviors, cutting, or suicide attempts).
Borderline personality disorder occurs in most people by early adulthood (early 20s). A person with this condition will have experienced an unstable pattern of interacting with others for years. This pattern of behavior is usually closely related to the person’s self-image and early social interactions with friends and family. The behavior pattern is present in a variety of settings (e.g., not just at work or home) and often is accompanied by a similar lability (fluctuating back and forth, sometimes in a quick manner) of a person’s emotions and feelings.
My name is Grace. I have borderline personality disorder. It sucks. I have struggled for so many years, had multiple suicide attempts, used drugs, alcohol and cutting as a way of coping when I couldn’t handle how I felt anymore. I recently completed a year of DBT and it changed my life.
Now I’m studying psychology and I want to try to change how society is with mental health, how people treat those who have mental illness, and I want to help others who are going through the daily struggle of living with one know they are not alone. And that there is a way out of the dark cloud you are lost in. Someone is always listening.
Everything is always “too much.” I feel “too much.” I’m “too” emotional. I’m “too” loud. I’m “too” moody. I’m “too” apologetic. I’m “too” insecure. I’m “too” arrogant. I’m “too” loving. I’m “too” devoted. I’m “too” angry. I’m “too” quiet. “Too” withdrawn. “Too” boisterous. “Too” social… I get “too” passionate over silly stuff, like sharks or that time I got fanatical over peas… I’m “too” apathetic and don’t care about anything…
I’m in “too much” pain. I love in a smothering, all-consuming passionate way that actually makes my body and my insides hurt. I’m so affectionate without always being able to express it. No, I can’t tone it down. I don’t know how to feel “less.”
“It is increasingly being recognised that many individuals who receive the diagnosis of BPD are naturally highly intuitive and perceptive. What was previously thought of as a genetic vulnerability may actually reflect an innate talent.”
People who were born emotionally intense, sensitive and are gifted with heightened perceptivity are like powerful sports cars. It is as if they have an extremely powerful engine that requires a special fuel and a specific kind of care. In the right condition and with the right keeping, they can be one of the most high-performing machines in the world and win many races. The problem is, however, that they may not have been taught how to run this powerful machine. To borrow a metaphor from psychologist Dr Hallowell (Additudemag.com), it is like having a Ferrari with bicycle brakes, and these brakes are simply not strong enough to control such a powerful engine.
Many emotionally intense people are diagnosed or misdiagnosed with various mental disorders throughout their lives, some of the most common ones are mood disorders, including bipolar disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), eating disorders and personality disorders. Whilst these conditions are real and extremely painful, we should not immediately assume that they are signs of a defect.
I used to wonder why it is called borderline personality disorder (BPD). That is until my symptoms got worse, and I had to find the answer the worst possible way.
It literally feels like you’re standing on the borderline of emotional and mental instability. Some days, you struggle to make sure you’re still “sane.” Other days, it feels like you’re not, like you barely have control anymore. Then, you get better for a few days and think that maybe you were just over-analyzing it before. Soon enough, you’re back to your nightly sanity checks.
Living with BPD can feel like a nightmare because how you feel about everything — friends, school, life, even yourself — is just so unstable.
Mental illness is something that I’ve struggled with ever since I was a young girl. I received a diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder at the age of 12, and I eventually developed Borderline Personality Disorder in my late teens. I was officially diagnosed with this mental illness in March 2016. My hope is to educate and provide insight about Borderline Personality Disorder through this article. This is my truth, and I am not ashamed.
- I am emotionally sensitive. Dr. Marsha Linehan, founder of Dialectal Behavior Therapy (a treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder), compares us to 3rd degree emotional burn victims. Growing up in an abusive home, I was never taught how to regulate my emotions in a healthy way. As an adult, I feel constantly overwhelmed by my emotions and I have a tendency to care so much that it hurts. When I am emotionally dysregulated, it takes me longer than the average person to get back to a normal baseline level. I am learning to be more in control of my emotions through mindfulness and self-care.
I will be one of the first to admit I have a fiery temper. Whether it’s just my nature or a character flaw or the borderline illness, I don’t know. But every so often, given the right (using the term loosely) mixture of provocation, physical state and emotions beforehand, I explode into a fit of rage. Think Donald Duck meets Incredible Hulk meets a doorslammer and you’ve got an idea.
One: Borderline rage is extremely powerful.
According to Healthyplace.com, one of the symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD) is “inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger.” That’s like referring to a tornado as an “air disturbance”–an accurate understatement of epic proportions.
The wrath of a person with BPD often comes on quickly. The intensity of the rage is extremely strong; it can quickly escalate into homicidal thoughts. Depending on the self-control of the enraged person, people or property can be damaged.