If you want to hurt someone, you have to first know what they care about and what they’re afraid of. When you know what someone cares about, you can threaten to have it taken away. When you know what they’re afraid of, you can threaten to expose them to it.
So, what do Narcissists fear?
Exposure/ Having their carefully crafted reputation and false reality brought to light/Having the world know who and what they truly are/The truth
Having their character smeared
What do they care about?
Having supply, people to admire them and give them attention
‘I will control your mind and free-will so that you start to think that you no longer have a mind of your own.”
(In a nutshell from a narcissist’s point of view)
When you first become entangled with me, you will always belong to me. You become mine, my property, to do with as I see fit. Your opinions, hopes, and dreams are immaterial to me. You need to stop thinking of yourself and put my needs above all else. Give me all your time, attention and admiration or there will be hell to pay. Your hell, not mine.
In the beginning, you were the center of my world. Soon I will be the center of yours.
You will learn to accept my version of the truth. I will never be responsible when things go wrong, and believe me, they will. It’s inevitable. Don’t expect me to ever accept blame. It will never be my fault. I don’t make mistakes. Instead, I will shift the blame on to you each and every time.
Here is a hypothetical letter was written from the point of view of a narcissist’s True (lost) Self.
The advice given here by the True Self is almost the polar opposite of whatever their False Self would tell you. That’s because their False Self is a lie and isn’t who they really are, even though they may have been wearing this mask for so long they can never access their True Self without enormous difficulty or even at all.
Always follow the advice of their True Self, no matter how much they protest and rage unless you want further abuse. It’s actually the best thing for them if they ever decide to look in the mirror past the lies they show the world (and may have come to believe is the truth)–and of course, it’s best for you.
An apology to a narcissist is not the same as it is for the non-personality-disordered person. An apology to the average person means:
Let’s make up.
An apology to a narcissist means:
Look how good I am.
Now you owe me forgiveness.
We won’t talk about this again.
Our relationship is still on my terms, but I appear to care about your feelings.
Do not be fooled by a narcissist’s apology. Realize that the relationship is no different than it was before the apology – you just now have more confusion on your plate (think, “cognitive dissonance”). You believe that maybe he means he’s sorry or that he won’t do whatever it was he did again. But, rest assured, the narcissist uses an apology as part of the “cycle of abuse.”
There are two ways in which emotional abuse is one of the most dangerous things that can be done to a human being: firstly, it is often not recognizable as abuse in the first place as it is perpetrated by people you love most. Secondly, the wounds sometimes just don’t heal.
The modus operandi of such abusive individuals appear to be eerily similar no matter the number of accounts from survivors. And the only way of escaping emotional abuse is to recognize the abuser’s method and running for your dear life.
This list covers the most essential of their methods and will help you recognize and fight out such oppression in your life.
There are some strange things I’ve noticed narcissists do that aren’t usually mentioned as symptoms of their disorder but seem to be common enough perhaps they should be included as additional criteria for NPD.
If you know someone who does only one or two of these things, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a narc, but if they do several of them regularly and also seem to fit the more well-known criteria for NPD, these things could be red flags to watch out for.
1. They don’t blink when they look at you.
Some narcs have a penetrating, predatory gaze. If a person of the opposite sex looks at you this way, you may take it as sexual interest (and it could be), but watch carefully: if they do not blink this could mean they are sizing you up as prey. Whether they blink or not, if their stare makes you squirm, get away. Listen to your instincts.
1 The empath gets attracted to a narcissist. Their relationship starts. Empath loves deeply and unconditionally. They feel emotionally fulfilled even though the narcissist plays no role to develop a stronger bond. The empath feels satisfied and thinks their love is reciprocated just by being around the narcissist.
2 The empath gets the false notion that they have finally met the kind of love that people don’t find even once. Narcissist affirms this by creating an illusion that leads the empath to believe that what they have is special. The empath feels a deep bond that is almost impossible to break free.
3 Sometimes it appears that the narcissist wants this relationship as much as the empath. Actually, what they want is someone who invests their time, energy and love and is in their complete control.
Pain is not always inflicted by physical abuse, emotional abuse hurts equally if not more. In fact in most of the cases the effect of emotional abuse lasts longer. Depression, emotional abuses have proven to be damaging by doctors and researchers.
Unfortunately, most people in a toxic relationship suffering from emotional abuse don’t realize this until they are far too deep in it.
Listed below are 20 signs you need to be careful of, in your relationship.
They might not be clear indicatives of abuse, but if one faces these or many of these regularly, it might mean something coming up very soon. Identify the subtle signs, and make amends before its too late.
1. They be little your accomplishments. Your achievements and accomplishments are not celebrated but just passed on as another event.
2. Somehow, you’re always responsible for their sadness, you’re always to be blamed.
3. They claim to know you better and believe that the decisions they make for you are best. They deprive you of making your own choices.